The world does not revolve around you. You are not perfect. You are not the best. Not everything is based on your standards. You do not have the right to bluntly point out everyone’s mistakes and flaws. It’s okay to be opinionated, but you don’t always have to voice your opinions. Often times they aren’t appropriate or sympathetic towards other people’s feelings. So please, be more considerate.
Your flawed friend
Officially 20! Holy shit balls. Good day though! Went to the elementary school. Some of the kids sang happy birthday to me on the playground! So cute. Got back on campus and my friend got me a little cake! Haven’t tried it yet, but looks yummy! Then came back to my room which my suitemates decorated with a huge pile of balloons on my bed, a happy birthday banner, and a decorated mirror. My friend got me a Disney tumbler. So cute. After a quick 2 hour nap my suitemates and I went to dinner at a pho restaurant. Hello good food. Got oreo milkshakes after. Then came back and talked to my mom and grandma. Only part I’m bummed about is that my used to be best friend didn’t even say happy birthday to me. I guess I’m not that important to him anymore. Whatever. Not gonna let that ruin my day. I know which friends really care about me. I had an awesome day!
So fucking blessed to have friends that try helping me when I mess up. I don’t care if they are successful in their attempts, but just that they try helping means so much to me. Here comes the cliche: It really isn’t the quantity of friends. It’s the quality.
So, my friend just told me I’m the best because I’m the only one who knows how to handle her pissy moods. It’s nice feeling like someone feels that I understand them.
It’s nice when people help you when you’re really down. I guess people care about me.
What is the sign of a true best friend? Is someone a best friend if they listen to your problems? Are they still a friend if they tell you you’re depressed and that if you hurt yourself again they will stop being friends with you and won’t care what happens to you after? Or maybe that was an in the moment, confused response after you told them you don’t sleep at night, don’t get yourself help, and previously hurt yourself? But are they still considered a best friend after saying something like that, even though it makes you consider hurting yourself for having someone respond to your shame like that? Maybe they’re just telling you how it is. But then again, is it right for you to justify this person’s words or should you take them at face value?
You know you care about them, but maybe they aren’t the best person to have in your life at the moment. Or are they? Do they really care about you as much as you do them? Are they fighting for you to get the help you need more than you do? I wish someone could help me figure this out. What is a best friend?
I like that my friend wants to help me. He has probably been the most supportive and helpful when I have bad days. And I don’t know why, but it just excites me that he is willing and wanting to help me though this. I have no clue why. Probably because I don’t feel like anyone else really wants to or tries to talk to me about it besides one other person. I’ve just been feeling a little unloved. I need this.
On a completely separate note, I went to the pet store with my friends and an old guy literally barked at us in a small dog bark. wtf.
So I haven’t been talking to my best friend much recently. Then he just texted me “You never talk to me anymore.” I feel like a terrible friend :(. I really don’t mean to. My brain is just so all over the place and my sleep schedule is horribly fucked up. Gotta get my shit together.
This was the first dance recital I wasn’t in since I first started dance in kindergarten. That’s 13 years of classes and recitals at the same studio. And after graduating last year, I realized how much I missed dancing at my studio, so I was determined to go to at least one show this year. It was wonderful. Seeing all my friends and the teachers was so heart warming. Once people realized it was me they all rushed to hug me. It made me feel so good and so loved.
Then when the show started I came so close to crying. During the opening number I was just so overwhelmed. I was reminded again of how much I enjoyed dancing there, how many people I met, and how much of a tradition recitals were. I mean, I miss my dance studio more than I miss any school I attended. It just made me so emotional. But yes, seeing all the girls was great. I just wish I could have seen them for a little longer. I love my dance studio. The studio and just dance in general will always be a part of my identity.
So dancers out there, cherish every class you take; Every teacher and teammate, every turn, kick, and pose, and even every fall. When you make a transition from high school to college and have to leave that part of your dancing behind, you will realize how much the foundations of your dance career mean to you. Those are precious memories.
Even when you feel like no one loves you or cares, you’re probably wrong. Sometimes people just can’t always show they care for you in the way you need at that moment. If you’re hurting and no one reacts, it does not mean they’re ignoring you or don’t want to handle your emotions.That doesn’t mean they don’t care. I mean, no one can read your mind. It just means that they have yet to put the pieces together or may even need you to confront them about your feelings. If you want love, it helps if you’re emotionally open. Bottling up feelings is not only bad for you, but it can hinder your relationships with those you care about. But even instances the people around you don’t support you the way they need, what they do still shows they care. It can be as simple as a hug or sharing an omelet. Those little things can be a reminder of someone’s care and love. People care about you. People love you. Remember that.
Sometimes talking and laughing with friends is the best solution when you’re down. Even if it’s just for a few hours, this happiness is genuine. You don’t have to fake a smile. And when you do pretend to be happy, true friends will be there when you’re ready to be real.